Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Public

I just wanted to make a public apology to JLAD. In regards to Eclipse the only information I ever got on him was from a *volunteer* puppy raiser. I never got any information from the organization itself. Of course I believed the information I got and acted accordingly, albeit not always rationally. I'm an emotional person and when I was being told constantly that Eclipse will *never* come home and all these decisions have been made it's understandable I react. What's not excusable though is that I accused JLAD and Joy of making decisions on Eclipse that did not correspond with what we were told would happen.

I apologize to all of you but more importantly to Joy for listening to someone else as if it were Joy directly. I will try my hardest to not let others get in the way of my raising experience again, and especially not ruin my happiness and hope in raising and "my" puppies.

I also wanted to apologize for making incorrect statements, although according to what I had been told they were true to my knowledge, they were incorrect.

There's a part of me that wishes I had been able to handle Eola and stuck it out until the next swap which would have been last month. Somedays I feel like I wasn't a "good enough" handler for her or didn't work hard enough with her. If I had just pushed myself a bit more we could have stuck it out. Then I remember how much Emotion has to do with puppy raising and my emotions were shot at that time. I was going back to working full-time, looking at moving out of my parents' house again and missing Eclipse and GDB like no other. I realize that giving Eola back was the best thing for me to do at that time, even though she's been in a number of homes since. Apparantly I'm not the only that has a hard time with her. I feel like if I still had her I wouldn't have let her and myself down but I'd still be involved in Eclipse's life, albeit from a distance. I'd know what is going on with him, from "the horse's mouth" if you will. Then I wouldn't be tempted to put my trust and emotions on hearing it 'third-hand'.

Time to move on I guess, but I hope my apology helps people realize I was never purposefully malicious or rude to JLAD or Joy and I never made incorrect statements out of spite. JLAD was not a good fit for us, for a number of different reasons, mainly the distance for class and the swap, but those reasons are unimportant at this point. I wish JLAD the best and that all the upcoming breedings and subsequent puppies are born safely and grow up well-adjusted. I also hope and pray that if it's determined Eclipse would be a poor fit as a service dog that the best decision is made for him and his siblings.

Thank you, JLAD for letting me raise again and experience my lovely Eclipse. I would not be the same person I am today without having known the boy. You taught me that I love service dogs, just in a different way than guide dogs, and helped me decide on the next organization I hope to raise for in the coming months. Thank you, and I'm sorry.

2 comments:

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  2. I didn't mean to say or suggest that you "misled" me at all, just that I should have waited to hear on a decision and information from Joy directly before jumping to the conclusion that these decisions were for sure and not without any misinterpretation. That's all. Thank you for sending her the link. I wanted to e-mail her an apology but figured she wouldn't read it. Thanks again.

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